Rapport and Respect . . . In the Office and the Barn
Peggy Gilmer
I received a vital piece of leadership wisdom watching my trainer work with a friend of mine and one of my horses. Whoopi is a very smart, very sensitive horse. She needs a consistent leader who will honor her insecurity and still hold her to high standards. Like many high potential people she requires skillful leadership or else she checks out or spins out.
My friend Molly has won her heart and built a strong sense of rapport with Whoopi with her patient and supportive style of leadership. She rewards every effort and has endless patience for Whoopi’s learning curve. Because of Molly’s sensitivity to Whoopi’s insecurity she has built a powerful sense of rapport with the mare. But when Whoopi decides she’s had enough or that Molly ‘can’t make me’ she will take off bucking. In other words, while Whoopi loves Molly, she doesn’t respect her!
When this situation develops it’s time to engage minimum essential influence. Molly will need to persist in her requests (even through the bucking), upping her energy level, changing her tactics, and never giving up her intention that Whoopi fulfill her request. This doesn’t necessarily mean greater force; sometimes just being more intriguing or creative will do the trick. And, often, with people and horses, it will get worse before it gets better. Right now Whoopi knows she can get away whenever she wants to because she always has. So, when Molly begins to hold her to the task and insist on performance she will probably buck and run even more....UNTIL she realizes Molly is resolute and will persist until the task is accomplished.
Rapport and respect....you need both for true high performance....from horses and people!
Oh wow. How I can see this in also having high performance with my children! Such a perfect post at such a perfect time. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteTo share a horse-related story: Livia & I were watching the movie "Secretariat" together. That horse was so incredible: he would hang back when racing, then at about the halfway point just go for it, and pass all the other horses. This wasn't just for effect in the movie, he really did this in his races.
I asked Livia, age 6, why she thought he was racing that way. She replied: "because racing is a game and games are only fun when there is a challenge. I think he was having fun when he was beating the other horses!"
I just love my kids. When they share their insights, I am the one who receives wisdom. It seems you can get that from horses too. :)
Horses and children are so innocent and absolutely brilliant. I love learning from both! Thank you for sharing this.
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